It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, ‘Let’s begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:
‘Patrick Henry, 1775’ he said.
Who said ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?’
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.
‘Abraham Lincoln, 1863’ said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, ‘Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.’
She heard a loud whisper: ‘F**k the Indians,’
‘Who said that?’ she demanded.
Chandrasekhar put his hand up. ‘General Custer, 1862.’
At that point, a student in the back said,’I’m gonna puke.’
The teacher glares around and asks ‘All right! Now, who said that?’
Again, Chandrasekhar says, ‘Al Gore to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.’
Now furious, another student yells, ‘Oh yeah? Suck this!’
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher ,
‘Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!’
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said ‘You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.’
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice,
‘Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.’
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, ‘Oh sh*t, we’re f**ked!’
And Chandrasekhar said quietly, I think it was George Bush, Iraq , 2007.’
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming bull$h*t stories.