I wish I could tell you…

By | Editorial, Poem

I wish I could tell you, what’s going on in my mind…

I wish I could tell you…

A thousand things I want to have…. and a thousand things I want to do…
But as I get near to them… I feel that my reality isn’t even true.

I wish I could tell you the things going around.
I was just looking for simple happiness. Even that I could not found…

There are voices in my head, and I listen to music to shut them down.
But all I could listen are just noises… to calm your soul there aren’t enough sounds…

There are a million things I want to show and a million things I want to say.
I hope that God is looking down on us… and just to get enough time, I pray…

Not sure if there are enough words or there is enough time.
And to tell you all that…I’m just making this rhyme…


-Anurag Upadhaya

Random Thoughts

By | Editorial, Pravachan

Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad guy. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was, create a life with someone new. Without the past, without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you. They follow you. You can't escape them, as much as you want to. All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it. Today I convinced myself it was okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama. Now is just not the time. But, my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and truth is that, I'm scared. I'm scared that if I let myself to be happy for even one moment that, the world's just going to come crashing down, and I don't know if I can survive that.
Dear Blog, I know its been a while. A long while. I haven't needed or I haven't wanted to write this stuff down, but I don't want to say it out loud either. The thing is I'm a loser, and I hate it. I feel hopeless, depressed, angry. But most of all, I'm scared. Part of me just wants to end it, but then I think of people around me and find that I'm very lucky. So I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes.

The above lines are modified version of script from The Vampire Diaries Season 1 Episode 1. These T.V. shows sometime contain very emotional and touching script. These lines were played along with The Fray’s song “Never say Never” making it one of best episode.

Short Moral Story – 1

By | Editorial, Story | No Comments

Long time ago, in a village far, very far away in the foothills of The Great Himalaya, there lived an old wise man. The man was famous for his wisdom. People not only from his village, but also from nearby village come to get wisdom and blessings from this great old man.

In the village, there were few young mind who were suspicious of his visionary wisdom, made a plan to prove wise old man wrong. Their plan was pretty simple. Their plan was to keep a alive butterfly in their fist and ask wise old man if the butterfly is alive or dead. The planned to kill the butterfly by crushing in their fist if old man says the butterfly is alive, or to leave the butterfly flying, if he says that butterfly is dead.


With their motive to prove old wise man wrong, they visited him when he was addressing gathering with his wisdom under the Peepal tree(Ficus religiosa or sacred fig). Young men stopped in between of his speech and asked if the butterfly in their fist is alive or dead. It doesn’t took time by old man to know their intention of young men. Wise old man not only gave answer but also astounded the audience with his wisdom.

Old man turned toward audience and told, “Our life is like this butterfly, it is in your hand to make it alive or make it dead. So what ever is the case, weather to make life happy or unhappy, it is your decision“. Spellbonded audience not only amazed by old man’s intelligence but their respect for him increases. The young men got their answer and were repenting for suspecting on Old man’s knowledge.

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