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Poem

I'm Glad I'm a Man

By | Jokes, Poem | No Comments

I was born a man instead of a broad
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
I don’t shave my legs, I stand up to pee
I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
Don’t pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
Don’t wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal, I understand sports

Man, I’m glad I’m a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don’t go through a faze every 28 days

Man, I’m glad I’m a man
I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
Don’t take a lot of friends when I go the the john

I don’t throw a fit when I break a nail
I don’t buy a lot of shoes just because they’re on sale
I don’t apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
I don’t think of Bambi when I’m out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
I don’t ask my friends about the size of my ass

Man, I’m glad I’m a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don’t face the pain of water-weight gain
Man, I’m glad I’m a man

Let me tell you ladies
Listen to me ladies
I love those things inside of your blouse

I love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my own two boobs, I’d never leave the house

I don’t spend two hours getting ready for a date
I don’t play with dolls unless they inflate
When someone asks me my age, I never lie
After sex in bed, my spot’s always dry
I don’t read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don’t mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
I don’t spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday

Man, I’m glad I’m a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don’t take a pill, I don’t use Massengill
Man, I’m glad I’m a man

Man, I’m glad I’m a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin’
Man, I’m glad I’m a man

Well you all got the Guy Stuff recently and here’s the reply for the
Ladies. So ladies enjoy and guys we know none of the following is
true though, but we’ll let them have their fun.